THE KAMIKAZE CAB DRIVERS OF SHARM

 

Evening Sharmers, I’m back to brighten up your Saturday evening.

I was away last week sorting out some business, but my Inbox was busy as usual. Loads of messages from people appalled at the behaviour of the trolls and bullies who had slithered over from the Keep Calm Group to try and spew more insults (Evening Helen and Co). They seem to have crawled back in their holes for the time being.

Hope you’re all bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready for another Sharm expose. As you’ve probably seen in the news, there have been several fatal road accidents recently due to the Kamikaze drivers in Egypt. Sharm has its own particular brand of crazy cabbies who drive  round town at night, lights off, with a seeming death wish, honking their horns, smoking and playing ear splittingly loud music and scattering all pedestrians in their wake. In timely fashion, another rant has landed in my Inbox from a Sharm resident about these lunatics. Here we go; my correspondent doesn’t pull any punches.

There has been a seemingly endless number of  incidents of “Accidents” (i.e. completely avoidable problems that occur because of the lazy stupid manner in which people conduct themselves behind the wheel. So many have occurred in the last year in and around Sharm proving that many people are not only incompetent but incapable of learning. Too many and I don’t have the hours to commit to digging them all up. I’m taking bets on when the next major transportation “accident” will occur. My money is on less than 2 weeks.

Sing along now: You must know the tune to THE LOCOMOTION.

“Everybody’s doing a brand new dance, yeah (Come on baby, BEEP BEEP taxi do the locomotion). The drivers are going to kill you if you give them a chance, yeah (Come on drivers, do the locomotion). Your driver’s license came as a cereal box prize. You walk and drive like someone gouged out your eyes.  So come on, come on, do the locomotion drivers. CHORUS: (Repeat BEEP TAXI 20 TIMES)”

A law needs to be passed. A law that bans some taxi drivers from owning, operating, touching or even looking too long at any object that has wheels. I’ll extend that to any object that has wheels or an engine of any sort.

AHMED THE MOVIE…..COMING SOON TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU!

There’s a reason why the movie wasn’t called “The Fast and the Furious: Sharm Drift”. I can just imagine the screenplay: (Exterior – Peace Road: Our main character, Ahmed “Smash”, glances around with a vacant, imbecile stare. He pulls a Cleopatra cigarette from his pocket – and some Tramadol tablets. Ahmed downs a tablet while simultaneously puffing his cigarette and dribble spitting. In short, he looks as cool as an Egyptian man can possibly look in Sharm Culture.

His Urkel-esque, far-too-tight trousers are hitched halfway up his undeveloped, 12-year-old-girl’s midget calf as he opens the door of his blue and white taxi. As his dainty fingers grip the plastic of his keffiyeh covered steering wheel wrap, he tries to flex a non-existent arm muscle – skin quivers against bone.

The engine starts with a tinny whine. In the background, a carbon copy Hamaki pop song comes on. Ahmed opens the door one more time to dribble spit on the ground. Throwing his car violently into reverse, the camera makes a quick cut to reveal Ahmed’s bumper dent and scratch the bumpers of both cars beside him. Plastic smooshes against plastic. Inside the cabin of the taxi, proximity warning sensors blare and are summarily ignored. Slamming the taxi into the kerb, Ahmed peels out onto the road where he immediately loses control despite bone-dry desert conditions, slides across lanes of traffic, into a concrete barrier, rolling his car over. As the car continues to roll over the edge of the road and into the desert the camera moves to the cabin of the taxi once more. Small objects such as tubes of lubricating hand cream, cards advertising escort services, baby size condoms, oversized brand name sunglasses, roach spray fly around as if weightless. The camera cuts to a close up of Ahmed’s confused, moronic expression. The camera cuts back as the car explodes into a ball of flames. Ejected from the car is one size 7 Adidas Original leopard print sandal. The camera holds on a shot of the sandal smoking on the trash strewn road. Roll credits…..

How can these people be so completely, utterly, fucking clueless when it comes to any sort of movement by any means in any sort of 3 dimensional space? I mean, holy camel shit, you can solve complex mathematical problems using x y z graphs to build the pyramids but you can’t push a shopping cart in a straight line. I am quite literally amazed that gyms in Sharm have treadmills. I would have thought that the concept of a conveyor belt would prove so difficult, so impossible for some people that bodies would have been flying willy – nilly through the air – an arm knocking out the midget on the thigh machine, a leg nearly decapitating the old man doing odd “exercises” with the pink dumbbells.

Hey taxi driver, park like it wasn’t your first time driving, so I don’t need to smash the window, hot wire your shitty car and use it to drive over you just to keep you off the roads where you will one day kill me. You would think in a small place like Sharm that the human capacity for adaptation would dictate that people’s skills in moving from point A to point K would improve out of simple necessity.

BUT NO….. not in Sharm. In violation of all common sense and logic, taxi drivers have gone in the opposite direction, choosing to showcase how incapable they are of doing anything other than copy. And why? Because here, the taxi drivers are an annoying passive aggressive shit-show of human misery. A place where happiness and human decency go to die…and more than a few motorists as well.

 

No punches pulled there by my correspondent who has obviously experienced the ‘Night Ride of Death’ out of Na’ama Bay. I know friends who are scarred for life after their hair raising rides with Egyptian cabbies. I know this is extreme and designed to be comical, however the best comedy has its roots in fact. There is a serious road safety problem in Sharm so I make no apologies for highlighting it. This week I even saw a petition demanding legislation and change.

My secret Sharmer neglected to mention the challenges of carrying out that simple task, otherwise known as ‘Crossing the Road’. Did you ever try it? You look both ways, think it’s clear and proceed to cross. Is it that simple?…..NO, not a cat in hell’s chance. Out of nowhere a ghostly dust cloud appears, an engine roars and a Kamikaze driver is hurtling towards you at speeds that should be the preserve of the Formula One race track. God help you if you have children or luggage. Even worse if you’re wearing inappropriate footwear. Forget the flip flops, you need Olympic standard trainers to sprint to safety.

I have my own guy who I usually call on to drive me when I need to, he knows how to drive without giving me a heart attack, but if he’s not around, I’d rather walk home. I’m sure you’ve all caught taxis here, so if you have any stories to share about your white knuckle rides around Sharm with that special breed of charmers who are the death wish drivers of Sharm, drop them into my inbox.

Apologies to all you ‘safe’ drivers out there, you can ignore this! You know who you are. To the rest of you, get your driving skills sorted, you give this city a bad name.

Eye of Sharm signing off until next week.

Eye of Sharm Underground party Have you joined us yet?

 

Drain The Swamp. The Lab Rats are out of Control.

TAKE COVER….. IT’S THE POST MORTEM

On March 6 at 20.11 a member of Keep Calm Love Sharm innocently posted the following.

I’m amazed at the number of young women who post that they are travelling alone to Sharm. Hmm

Please note the ‘Hmm’ it’s critical to the story.

Seemingly fairly innocuous, but Jeez and OMG, 722+ comments and over 24 hours later admin turned off commenting. The dance floor was awash with blood and the lab rats had almost devoured each other completely.

The following comment  (posted just before the thread was shut down) is spot on and it basically sums up the situation completely.

Conclusion: People see what they want to see with their pure or dirty minds i think post was brilliant social experiment. 

I would like to add to that. There are just neanderthal idiots out there, without a functioning brain cell in their heads, who take pleasure in causing pain and chaos. It was a revolting display of ‘mainly’ British female scum, low class pond-life…… more of that later.

The Kraken (AKA The Secret Sharmer) also summed it up with her usual panache and impeccable insight.

“I managed to read the entire thread, some posts sound like the type of nasty people who stab footballs and poison cats, good riddance to them”.

More gems coming from her next week.

It was bloody astounding how people read different things into this short two liner. The comments were mildly controversial and (in many cases) amusing at first and then the lunatics took over the asylum….yep literally.

You name it, it was there. An outpouring of venom and bullying instigated by a small hardcore (call that Coven) of individuals who took extreme pleasure in attacking others.

The original poster (Kay) didn’t reappear online until the following evening, by which time the thread had degenerated into a demonic frenzy of demands that she explain the use of the word ‘hmm’. Seriously it was feckin hilarious and we now have a new hashtag #bewarethehmm hahahahahaha, you couldn’t make it up could you?

I ran the thread past a friend of mine who is a psychologist and he commented that common traits of the SOCIOPATH and the NARCISSIST  were very much in evidence here. S*** Take cover.

SOCIOPATH. A person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behaviour.

NARCISSIST. A person who has an excessive interest in, or admiration of themselves.

At the very least they would have to be described as trolls.

TROLL. One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a message board or social media site with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.

As you all know, EYE only goes after the ‘bad guys’ I do not identify people, I do not target individuals. BUT…..when that line is crossed, all bets are off. So meet the pond-life, the line-feed is still out there for all to see.

Don’t feed the trolls.

Leading ladies: Gail Carter, Nadia Mackin,  Michelle Finnerty, Konstanze Pielmeier and the supporting cast re-started their campaign on my page following the draining of the swamp. Let’s not forget the other instigator, flying low beneath the radar on her broomstick, hoping not to be noticed. ‘She’ who slyly tags people, works in the background and loads the bullets for others to fire. Yeah, we spotted you Helen Coverdale. You are the worst possible troll.

Not content with the copious amounts of blood drawn on the original post, they arrived on my page bright and early the following morning to continue their psychotic, deranged rantings. Get a life ladies and get yourselves down to the quack…..medical assistance is urgently required to dispel the venom before it poisons you completely. On second thoughts…..a few less demonic trolls might be a good thing! HaHa.

So before you complete the poll, let me know what you think.

What kind of people gang up and post vile vitriol to social media sites? Are these happy, well balanced, social souls you would want to meet for a drink, or are they bitter, twisted individuals with no mission in life other than to cause chaos and suffering?. YOU DECIDE.

You ladies were clearly proud of your antics ……hmm nuff said eh? #bewarethehmm

See you over on Eye of Sharm sometime soon.

Costa del Sheikh? The Net is Closing In! BEWARE THE SCAMMERS

BEWARE THE SCAMMERS

A couple of synchronistic things happened recently that prompted me to re-visit the scam arena. Firstly a chance meeting with a lovely lady at the supermarket, she has recently returned to Sharm and was on her honeymoon. Following a two year courtship on-line she had decided to return to Cairo and marry the love of her life. As we stood in line to pay, I overheard her telling the cashier her ‘love story’ and he promptly smiled, congratulated her and then massively overcharged her. Clearly oblivious to this fact, she pulled out her purse and proceeded to hand over the money.

Now I’m no knight in shining armour, but this kind of behaviour seriously pisses me off. She wasn’t a tourist, she was an Egyptian wife, albeit a British one. In my best Arabic I told him what an arsehole he was and demanded that he charge her correctly. Shocked at the intervention, he complied and I earned a smile from the lady who, to this day is probably completely unaware of what actually happened.

By chance, shortly after this I received an inbox from our ‘Secret Sharmer’….you know the one. She, who dishes the dirt from a seriously inside perspective. The Hexan Beast is on a mission to expose the ‘not so pleasant’ underbelly of Sharm and she knows exactly ‘what everyone did last summer’. Some of her ‘submissions’ are simply too extreme for me to publish, but I thought the following piece is a good awareness raiser, not just for Sharm but in many tourist destinations around the world. Don’t get caught out guys……

TAKE CARE…CHECK

Here she comes…………………

Many people are ready to hand over money, items and other stuff to people who cite they can open the door to enlightenment and riches or they have been given some sob story.

I’m completely used to hearing about scams in Sharm and stories of petty expat criminals and possible benefit cheats. Some are harmless illegal workers but others are still wheeling and dealing after having escaped the watchful eye of the law back home.

There have been a few tales over the years of these unsavory characters operating openly, almost brazenly, as if being a criminal in another part of the world was some sort of sexy status symbol. It’s funny how we’re quick to blame the locals for scams in Egypt when there is also a small minority of the crooked expats and Egyptians living here who are a problem.

Affordable apartments, great food, incredible things to see and easy access to Europe and Turkey have made this area a prime relocation destination. However, these benefits have been soured by the growing number of shady tourist-opportunists who use Sharm & Hurghada as a safe haven.

By no means am I implying that honest expats and Egyptians don’t exist; there are plenty. There must be plenty of decent people—otherwise, who would the scammers rob?

Are scams in Sharm & Hurghada common?

As in any resort all over the world thieving, drama, and debauchery is not uncommon. Fact is people have asked me for money and I know they have also made commission from me. I have also come across some blatant scams. Let’s not glamorise these people however as “mafia” as the people getting hit up for money don’t “look rich” – I mean, it’s not like they’re gallivanting around in the latest fashions.

Why do we have scams in these resorts?

Because these are places where you can disappear and reinvent yourself. A place where to the outside world from your social media you are considered to be living in an exotic place and appear to live the dreamy life quixotic. So called business opportunities appear, and many people cash in their savings at a high rate of interest and move to Sharm in search of greener pastures. Whatever history you had in the past is negligible—for many, this even includes wives, husbands and children.

Do these scams involve violence?

No that I am aware of, why would you kill the chicken when you can steal the eggs? I have no doubt however people have been threatened or intimidated in some way when they have started to clock on.

With so many scams in Egypt how do you know who to trust?

When it comes to forging a sincere friendship and letting someone into your inner circle, get picky. Normally scams fall into two types, the quick opportunity or allowing yourself to be groomed as a cash cow until they build trust over the long term.

Here are just a few warning signs:

Does your new “friend”…

Claim to be a millionaire and have tons of money? Even if they do, why are they broadcasting it?
Claim to be some ex-special esteemed person who has special connections?
Have a friend or partner that looks dug out of some souk or is one of the “beautiful boys” (not that a dashing one would make any difference).
Have this really great business idea, item or property they can’t wait to get you in on?

If any of these things come up, an alert should go off, and you should move to the next steps. This involves a bit of work, but hell, a little research could save you a whole load of trouble later.

*****************

The next steps are to gather data about your new found “awesome” friend. You need to dig deep on those who try to involve you in money matters but beware they might not actually be who they say. If no data is found this is usually a red alert.

If the relationship is a potential business relationship, you should get more detailed. You’ll find out everything there is to know, from addresses and former spouses to bankruptcies and sometimes hidden felonies.

1. First, check them out on social media: gather their e-mail, full name, date and place of birth, and other relevant data. Then run a global search on Google, Yahoo, and Bing. You should also search for their name with keywords next to it, such as “scam” “alert” “beware” and the name of their city and country of origin, as well as where they live now.

2. Place any telephone numbers into Truecaller and Facebook to possibly bring up any accounts.

3. If they are from the UK, place the name or surname into Companies House and the London Gazette you would be surprised at the number of Sharmer’s who have had companies dissolved in the UK, or been made bankrupt. Some have registered allegedly successful companies they have in Sharm in the UK but never filed any returns and that’s a warning sign.
4. Check out potential births, deaths or marriages on Ancestry® It contains Genealogy, Family Trees & Family History Records and sometimes you get 14 days free snooping.
5. Find Face is rather creepy and apparently can find people by photo, it seems rather hit and miss, sometimes Google reverse image search and TinEye is effective in finding the origin of photos.

Have you been the victim of a scam? If you have a story to tell, get in touch with me on my Facebook page and we can warn innocent people and help them avoid the pitfalls. It’s all confidential so no need to worry. There are also organisations that can help if you are a victim. You are safe with #eyeofsharm. Helping you to avoid #bezness.

See y’all next time.