THE FOREIGN FEMALE’S GUIDE TO DATING AN EGYPTIAN MAN

                   

Love in Sharm

Good evening you lovely Sharmers. Hope you enjoyed last weeks blog on the intrepid Brits doing Sharm. Awesome to see a few more of you heading back here and trying to keep the old place going. There’ll always be a great welcome for the Brits in sunny Sharm. I think Colin and his better half are now back in chilly old England but I see Calamity Jane is still kicking around the place (have you seen her latest video?) and scooping up the friend requests with her cheeky snaps. Jeez Jane, rolling eyes gorgeous lady, I see you are having a very ‘happy’ birthday’.

I’ve been in and out of Sharm a lot recently on business but was home last weekend and hooked up for a drink with a couple of the boys who work for me sometimes. I met up with Ahmed and Amir down in Na’ama Bay and treated them to a few drinks (they’re pretty skint as I don’t have much work for them these days) and we caught up on what’s been going on while I was out of town.

After a few (Yes, they drink) the guys started talking about their women troubles and asking for some advice. Amir has been having a relationship with an English girl he met in Sharm 2 years ago when she stayed at the hotel he was working at. Recently they seem to have run into a few troubles but he is still madly and genuinely in love with her. They’ve hit a few bumps in the road, mainly due to cultural differences and things are not going well at the moment so he was crying on my shoulder.

He doesn’t like the fact that she has male friends, wears revealing clothes and has a career which she doesn’t intend to give up to marry him. I tried to explain to him that life in England is very different to Egypt and that if he wants to keep the relationship going, he’s going to have to accept that she has her own life and her own mind. He seemed to struggle with this concept, so I asked him what he would like to say to his girlfriend or any other foreign lovely embarking on an affair with a beautiful boy. Both the guys had lots to say, so I thought I’d use this week’s blog to write a guide for foreign ladies entering into a relationship with an Egyptian. It’s a tricky business ladies, so I’m doing you all a service by giving you some good advice straight from the horse’s mouth (well from the lips of Amir and Ahmed). This is what the boys would like you to know before you date them.

Beware the broken heart.

You can’t have male friends

Jealousy is an integral part of every Egyptian man’s psyche so they won’t like you hanging out with other men of any nationality. They will assume all male friends must be madly in love with you like they are, or want to have sex with you. So get ready to ditch your male mates, from now on there’s only one man in your life.  It’s ok of course for them to have female friends, that’s a completely different kettle of kushari.

When the phone rings, you need to be quiet

Unless your Egyptian boy toy is from a super liberal family, his parents won’t even know of your existence for many months, if at all. So if the phone rings, you need to be quiet as it may be his mother or father on the line. By the way, don’t expect to meet the parents anytime soon, if at all. The family doesn’t always take kindly to their beloved son playing away with a foreigner. The view of many older Egyptians is that Western women are uncontrollable nymphomaniacs and seducers.

Get ready to serve as arm candy

You’re a trophy so get used to it. The majority of men will be quite impressed they have scored a foreign girl and will want the world to know about it. They’ll hold your hand in public and give the death stare to any other guys who are looking at you. But if truth be told they quite like the fact others are looking at you, it makes them feel good.

Don’t expect any privacy

Speaking of romance, your first kiss is likely to happen in a lift, the back of a car, a dark corner, or if you are the naughty type, your bedroom. Egyptian guys are usually living with their parents until they’re married so a kiss in public is impossible. Prepare for lots of hand holding and gazing longingly into each other’s eyes over your (non-alcoholic) drinks.

Feminist ideals are not welcomed

Not at all. Egyptian men will mostly have a hard time accepting that you want to do anything other than cook or clean and fulfil their every desire. He will find it hard to understand why you want to work and have a career. He will be adamant that he will provide for you and your future kids (at least 4) despite the fact that he only earns a pittance. If you want to impress your man, get in the kitchen and cook because that’s what women do. Know your place ladies.

Good for your ego

Those Egyptian guys really know how to woo with compliments. You don’t even have to date one to have several of them confess their love for you on the street every day. To your Egyptian lover, you are so beautiful, especially your eyes and omg, your hair is amazing and wow, they love your accent too, in fact everything about you. However, let’s not forget that the fact you make out with him as he’s sex starved makes him your biggest fan

Never criticise his country/ his family/ his beliefs

Most Egyptians have a ridiculously unhealthy amount of national pride and you as a foreigner can never understand this obsessive feeling. Never ever ever ever say anything critical about his beloved country, its inhabitants, beliefs or god forbid his family – or you’ll be toast girls. Don’t even try to understand what it’s like to be an Egyptian because you can’t. They’re very possessive of their national identity, they are supreme and nobody understands how perfect these scions of the Mother of the World are. Be prepared to bow down ladies and acknowledge the supremacy of all that is Egypt. Lovely old free thinking modern England can’t compare with this country, it’s perfect and don’t you forget it.

Prepare for fights

Egyptian males are not the biggest fans of females winning an argument, so be prepared for some arguments to run and run. Getting an Egyptian man to admit he’s wrong is about as likely as direct flights returning to Sharm so get used to it. His ego will need a good dose of massaging on a regular basis so disagreeing with the master is not recommended. Be prepared to accept he is always right. He won’t understand why you like to wear cute mini dresses that show your assets or like to drink (too many) G & Ts and why you don’t think Shaabi music is the best thing around (apart from him of course). Basically they are mini gods and they should be treated as such. Get ready to cover up and start liking soft drinks if you want to keep the boy happy.

So there you have it girls – a brief tongue in cheek guide to dating one of the beautiful boys, from the boys themselves. If you can cope with all that, then go for it, but be aware of what you are letting yourself in for.

Ok that’s it from me for this blog. Good to see more of you Brits heading over to Sharm. I’ll be out and about around Sharm this coming week so I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled and watching out for you. Maybe you’ll even feature in my next blog. Have fun Sharmers !